I've done a little research, and what I've discovered should make anyone think twice....

 1.   More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
 2.   Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread consuming households score below
          average on standardized tests.
 3.   In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life
         expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high;
         many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and
         influenza ravaged whole nations.
 4.   More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating
         bread.
 5.   Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as
         one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats
         more bread than that in one month!
 6.   Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer,
         Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
 7.   Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of  bread and given only
         water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
 8.   Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as
         butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
 9.   Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90
         percent water, it follows that eating bread could  lead to your body being taken
         over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey
         bread pudding person.
10.  Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11.  Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit!
         That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12.  Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant
             scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

 In light of these frightening statistics,  we propose the following bread restrictions:

 1.   No sale of bread to minors.
 2.   A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete with celebrity
         TV spots and bumper stickers.
 3.   A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might
         associate with bread.
 4.   No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children)
         may be used to promote bread usage.
 5.   The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.